Author: adrian

adrian http://adriansmusings.info

The thoughts of another…

Who knows what’s going on in someone else’s head? All you can do is ask.

Those you trust, and who trust you will tell you in the best way they can explain it.

Even then, they’ve tried to put into words the workings of the most complex structure and powerful computer in the known universe, and then you’ve tried to convert those words back into thoughts within yours.

It’s no wonder there’s so much misunderstanding, and the distrust, hurt and upset that causes: words are clumsy and imprecise – wholy inadequate for the task.

All we can do is try to understand how the other might interpret, process and think about things based on their knowledge and experiences. And we attempt that understanding from a vastly different starting point.

Basically, it’s a non-starter…

Sad really.

Software development is hard…

Software development is hard, well that’s not really true. The act of programming is actually pretty easy, but knowing what to write, where, how, etc, etc is pretty exhausting. On top of that, if you rely tomorrow on what you knew yesterday everyone you know will pass you and leave you in a cloud of virtual dust, so you spend everyday keeping your skills up to date.

If you program in multiple languages and environments, as I do, this means each language and environment needs to be continually refreshed in your head, just thinking about it is exhausting. I only keep about 10 languages and about 5 environments current – There simply aren’t enough hours in the day!

I know this won’t mean much to many people, to whom the mysteries of programming seem as alien as the surface of Mars. But think about it this way for a moment:

Imagine you are a car mechanic. Now imagine that every car on the planet has a different set of tools needed for it, some have nuts with 4 flats, some with 6 (like normal), some with 7, perhaps there’s a few where the nuts are perfectly round and you have to tighten them with magnets. Now imagine that every 18 months everything you knew about the cars you work on becomes obsolete, along your entire set of sockets, screwdrivers, etc, and you need to buy new. On top of that, some cars are released without any tools that fit them, and you are expected to fashion your own tools while the car is in your workshop.

Getting the idea yet?

Now, of course, these cars don’t run on normal petrol, oh no, that would be too easy, they run on a very precise blend of petrol, diesel, moonshine and rabbit dung, each car to a different recipe, which you are expected to make for your customers, again without proper equipment – You just make your own, while your customers stand around saying they hate cars, that they don’t understand what was so wrong with dog sleds, and implying that you are part of the PROBLEM while trying to help them out.

Am I done yet?

Well, no, not quite. While bankers tend to leave the money in the bank, cooks tend not to take their cooking home, teachers seldom invite their classes to their homes, counsellors, pharmacists, doctors (you get the idea), if you work in IT, you tend to be everyone’s best friend…

I’m not complaining, you understand, I love my job, and more than that I love helping people, but seriously, it’s not just sitting in front of a screen while the computer does all the work…

Animals vs. People

Look at the world around you. Look at all the ills and evils, the problems, distress, arguments and wars. Each of those were caused by PEOPLE, not one was caused by animals or plants.

Just think about it for a moment. We, the supposedly supreme species on this planet, are the direct or indirect cause of every single thing that’s wrong here…

Perhaps there’s still something we’ve not yet learnt from the rest of nature: How to do no harm, how to coexist peacefully.

The Moon Knew Your Beauty

The moon knew your beauty,
the sun never spilt on it,
only the moon knew.

Visiting by street light,
meeting by lamp light,
never knowing how the sun might cast
a shadow of your face.

Stolen moments,
secret words,
thoughts shared,
bodies touched,
hearts entwined,
but never in the light.

Yet the moon knew your beauty,
it knew your form,
it saw our passion,
the only witness to our love.

Never talking, never telling,
hints, secrets, silence,
sneaking around, quiet, hush.

The journey is short,
yet seldom travelled.
Our hearts beat by phone, by internet,
in time yet seldom together.

Missing, longing,
words felt,
burning to be said,
yet unspoken.

The distance so short,
yet untravelled,
wanting so much,
dreaming so much.

No words, no messages, just thoughts.

Thoughts of missing,
of yearning, of longing,
of belonging, of knowing yet knowing not.

Still the moon knew your beauty,
it smiled and told,
no one.

The Pain Inside

How could you,
what did I do to deserve,
What gives you the right to cause me such pain?

I was there for you, all the way,
Gave my heart to you, every day,
Shared my soul, my self, my family, my bed.

Did I do you such wrong,
Did I hurt you so bad,
When you needed me there did I turn my back?

Did I tread on your dreams,
Or snuff out your lights,
Did I trample your hopes as you slept in the night?

You’ve treated me bad,
You know I never did,
I offered you kindness,
And you took the piss.
I never thought, even after all that we did,
You’d stoop so low as to come to this.

Where did I go wrong,
How did I come to this,
How do I cope,
Tell me how to get through it.

You need to remember,
I know you to,
Where you work, play and sleep,
Who you talk to and kiss.

What you don’t realise,
By closing this door,
You’ve opened a pit,
A giant ravening maw,
That can swallow you whole,
Your ego and all.

Don’t step near that edge,
Don’t risk you might fall,
For the pain inside,
Will sustain a fire,
That will burn you up,
along with all you desire.

Not payback, nor vengeance,
Neither reprisal or retribution.
But karma will call on you,
When you least expect.
She’ll wear my face,
Stained with the tears I shed.

When that day comes,
I’ll be cheering her on,
For you lost my faith, friendship and support,
When you used me and hurt me,
Without some much as a thought.

Quote

Just don’t…

I was there and I saw what you did,
I saw it with my own two eyes,
So you can wipe off that grin,
I know where you’ve been,
It’s all been a pack of lies…