I work because I love what I do. Everyday is filled with new challenges, thoughts I’ve never previously explored, problems to solve to help others. In this I consider myself very lucky.

In the past I’ve been known to pull 14+ hour days in the office before coming home and doing more of the same. There’s never been managerial pressure, mandatory overtime, and seldom even the thought that I couldn’t pay my bills without it (well, I’ve always been salaried, so it wouldn’t make a difference anyway). It has been my choice for whatever reason I chose to believe at the time – I’d miss out on something or I might let others down.

The true reasons are somewhat less noble, and even a little scary.

I didn’t want to go home!

Firstly there was, for many years, someone there who made me feel unsafe, inadequate and deeply unworthy.

Secondly (partly because of that) I had no idea what else I might do. What is this “recreation” of which others speak? How do you do it?

This is no way to live. It’s not fun, it sucks all the pleasure out of my work, which is the one reason I do it!

I now recognise something that had previously not occurred to me – the need for work/life balance.

I’m very lucky, though, for another reason. I have friends around me (more recently a partner) who have helped me discover that there is life away from the screen, and shown me what I can do with it!

Now emails may go hours before being read – no one dies, everyone does this! I may not have my phone with me, or I may put it on silent – I’m not hurting anyone!

What a revellation! I CAN go out, I can see friends, I can say “I can’t get to that right now, send me an email and I’ll look later”. I can spend time with my partner, without interruptions. I have discovered what “recreation” is, not merely a substitute for working all the time, but what I should have been doing all along.

Finally I feel life is the reason I work, not a product of it, certainly no longer the other way round, and not something that only happens while I’m there, but that the work I love now is is there to support my personal time that I finally love too!

I can’t speak for other autists, just myself. I was never diagnosed (when I was a child, we had still to enter the brave new world where autism was known but not understood). I was a difficult child, a problem. A bottom set, unteachable child. It was best not to waste too much time on me.

What did I do? You know it’s really hard to explain because I’ve never really known any different, all I can say is that it’s exhausting trying to be the person the rest of the world expects you to be. I tried for years (and more) to find out why I wasn’t able to make the emotional associations others found natural, or to try to get people to understand what was going on between my ears (as numerous teachers put it). Ultimately it was pointless – without a common frame of reference I can no more describe it than I can describe the feeling of being male (as distinct from feeling female).

I dislike the term masking. It makes it seem like a selfish act, which it isn’t. We know we are different, we’re told it every day, and it’s used as a pejorative! We try to be what others hope we might be. The problem is that those closest to us give us the faintest clues and it can become frustrating trying to figure out the social rules that apply in each situation without them.
Eventually I settled on a compromise position. I’m me, but I try to understand what I seem like to others. I don’t claim it was quick, easy or entirely successful (as my two divorces can attest). I can’t be other than I am, but I can be me in the world instead of me out of it, and for me that seems (finally) to be working out rather well.

This week a friend asked me if I had any insights into how one might go about setting up a games console and peripheral sales business. I thought for a while, as this is pretty far outside my usual realm, and realised (with a little research as backup) that I do, in fact, know a little about this subject.

Here is my reply:

Oh so only a small question then. Lol. You have multiple potential routes:

1) eBay in eBay out. Buy and sell on eBay, there’s a lot of price variance out there, buy low sell high. (Last night I sold a Mac keyboard for £60).

2) eBay in retail outlet (e.g. pop-up shop/market stall) out.

3) Wholesale in, retail out. E.g. buy from distributors and setup a pop-up or semi perm shop presence.

There are lots of variants to these ideas and lots of add-on options like ebusiness website etc. But essentially it depends where in the market you want to try your hand.

1 is low expense, limited setup costs, you can pretty much buy to order (just in-time inventory)

2 involves more expense and risk as you’ll have to carry considerable stock levels, much of which may not sell in a timely fashion.

3 is high expense, initially high risk and requires a proper business level of commitment but with volume could turn a healthy profit.

These are true of any product line, and in fact most retailers will tell you the product is irrelevant it’s just a box that you sell for more than it cost. The important points are security of sourcing, selling what people will buy, getting your brand under the noses of customers with the right level of disposable income and presenting your wares in a way that is most likely to part them from their money.

The last two I’m not good at…

As for books about it, there are probably 1000’s if not 10,000’s of them and perhaps 90% have some useful tips, but I don’t have a clue which.